I am moving this blog over to my website! Please go to http://fit2finish.com/blog

You will continue to find these posts and great new material, too.

Thank you, I look forward to seeing you on the new site.

Wendy

While football players still suffer the greatest number of concussions, a study of Fairfax County school sports from 1997-2008 performed by MedStar Health research Institute and reported in Washington Post Article got my attention. They looked at the incidence of concussion in girls and boys in three comparable sports, basketball, soccer and baseball/softball. They found girls suffered twice the number of concussions.

These are “reported” concussions, and I would expect, after working with both male and female high school athletes, that this may reflect a greater tendency for girls to report symptoms and boys to decline. But twice the number is startling.

Something new from this report and one published by Sue Saliba and Leah Frommer in the January/February issue of the Journal for Athletic Trainers (original article) was the difference in symptoms recorded for girls and for boys. While headaches were common to both girls and boys, girls experienced drowsiness and hypersensitivity to noise or light. Boys complained of neuro-cognitive issues like memory loss and confusion and deficits in balance control.

The Post article shared the story of  female volleyball player, Hannah Zarnich, whose parents thought she had the flu. This is a wake up call for athletes and their parents. Take blows to the head seriously and be looking for the “after effects” that might mean brain trauma. They may “look” different than you think.

The study of Fairfax County Sports also reported a 15.5% average yearly increase in concussion rate over the 11 years studied. While I hope this is reflective of better reporting and better documentation, it still sounds alarms.

What about headgear worn by soccer players who routinely head the ball? In an online forum, Jon Almquist who coordinates Fairfax County’s athletic trainers says “at this point, it is safe to say that no headgear approved for sports (including helmets) can prevent concussion.  Concussions can occur with no contact to the head (whiplash type movement from hit to body).  More research needs to be completed to determine the true validity of how much a particular headgear may reduce the severity of a concussion, if at all.”  (conversation)

That statement gets my attention. As a coach, do I advise against heading? It’s so much a part of the high level game. For now, I may recommend heading a punt only on the hop or fielding it with chest or feet. Corner kick in the box? That’s a tough one. Will the header be ruled too dangerous?

It’s a game changer. But then, football started without helmets and hockey was played that way until recently. Wisdom and   safety have to take the lead.

Coaches…what do you think?

Sending them Out

He outlined the three levels taught to life coaches as ways we listen.

1. What does this mean for me?
2. What does this mean for the other person?
3. What do I sense from what the other person is not putting into words?

I believe sports coaches can be life coaches, too, at an especially meaningful and teachable time in a young person’s life. We are there to walk with them and propel them on their way. But I have heard from many parents, kids and teams that the coach-to-kid relationship is not always positive. Jim’s “listening levels” got me thinking.

A coach stuck at level 1 “listening” watches a player struggling and immediately benches them because if the player gives up a goal, the team might lose and he might lose his job.

A coach who has moved onto level 2 “listening” sees the tendencies of the struggling player and makes a note to require more practice from that kid on the skill that trips him up.

A coach who “listens” at level 3 watches not only the success of the player’s skill but also what the body language and performance say about what the kid is feeling. Is he nervous and rushing his passes? Is she confused by people yelling what to do? Is she afraid to try a new skill because failure means a tongue-lashing from the sidelines or at game’s end?

Coaches have a lot of kids to “listen” to, but the best ones know what makes their players tick and what makes them falter. Knowing that, the coach can help each player move forward by honestly addressing what’s hard and encouraging them to practice weaker skills. This will help them become the confident and capable players the team needs to succeed.

These coaches keep their jobs. Their players take away a lesson for life.

Chaos girls getting stronger 2006

Fit2Finish recently posted a blog congratulating the Chantilly Chaos for playing hard to the end and digging out a shootout win in a tournament final. Their successful finish came even after the referee had ejected their coach and red-carded a player.

One of the team parents contacted me and asked me to remove this post because it contained factual errors. I did so. I had drawn incorrect conclusions from incomplete information. Fit2Finish regrets any mis-information these errors may have communicated. This blog is not meant to be journalistic, but rather to express my impressions.

These impressions still remain:

• I congratulate the girls for out-performing their coach that day.
• Coaches need to watch what they say on the sidelines. Players take their cues from them.
• Referees have tough games like teams do. They are mentally and physically exhausted at the end of a long weekend just like the players are and they are only human. Without them, there would be no game.

Five (or so)  years ago I came to work with Team Chaos on strengthening their bodies to play hard and safely. (photo above. I am in long pants and gray top.) We had so much fun. I think we even did wheelbarrow races across the gym floor. I take my training and coach’s hats off to them. They have grown into a real force in the Virginia U-14 ranks.

Congratulations, girls. Keep having fun and good luck in State Cup.

Take a look at the soccer field or basketball court during warm ups and you can see who the “natural athletes” are.  No one could have taught them how to do that with a soccer ball or a basketball. When a parent sees that in their child, naturally they want to support and nurture it. Visions of college scholarships, the Olympics and pro-ball dance in their heads. These parents will invest almost anything in their kid’s potential athletic career.

What if we could find out if our child was destined to be great… say, when they’re in 2nd or 3rd grade? Sound tempting?

A frightening new option has arrived and, knowing what’s at stake, who can be surprised? It’s the mail order genetic test kit. The Associated Press reports  that companies are capitalizing on research by scientists who have “identified several genes that may play a role in determining strength, speed and other aspects of athletic performance.”  For $100-$200 families can mail in swabs of cheek cells from their budding athlete to be tested for genes that might code for the production of a muscle protein that is involved in sport performance. (read Could gene tests tell if kids can be sports stars?)

Nat Carruthers, operations president for one such company, Atlas Sports Genetics, says the company has sold several hundred test kits since it began marketing them in 2008. He says their goal is “to help people become the athlete they were born to be.”

This kind of claim should definitely raise your radar. Certainly no one gene is responsible for sports performance. While genetics may play a role in potential strength or power or speed or jump height, none of these guarantee a great athlete. There is always a heart and mind connected to that body and that should be our first concern.

But, for the sake of argument, lets think about the implications of this “sports gene” test.

My first question is: What if my kid doesn’t have the gene?

• Do I tell him? …that he’s already a loser. That’ll keep him interested.
• Do I just steer him away from athletics to more sedentary pursuits? Hello overweight and obesity
• Do I encourage him to play anyway? Maybe overcome his “dis”ability.
• Do I let him know that athletes are both born AND made? Hey, hard work will make him just as good if not better than the “natural.” Mentally, tougher. Remember, the tortoise passed the hare and won the race.

My second question is: What if my kid does have the gene?

• Do I tell her?…that she’s already a winner and darn well better play that way?
• Do I have her drop everything since sports are her true calling? Then what will life-after-sports look like?
• Do I let her choose whether to play, knowing she may be squandering her abilities?
• Do I assure her that no athlete became great by accident of birth alone? Hard work is required to keep ahead of her peers who are closing fast.

I shudder to think we are testing our 9 year olds to see if they are  championship quality. Could we really be moving in that direction? It pains me to think that kids would skip sports and all they have to offer because their DNA is substandard.

The “selected” kid may be the bigger concern. What will be the weight of expectations that child feels? “Sweetie, we know you can score goals, this test report says so. You must just be lazy.”

When we give them everything money can buy and serve them up everything science has to offer is it not better to start with, “What would you like to try?” and end with “What did you like most about the game today?” If they learn something about themselves in between, then we have done our best to nurture what’s good in them. And isn’t that what we set out to do in the first place?

Is this your kid                                                                                                                       or this one?

or this one?

Can we really know if right now he or she is one of these?

XC Girls Get Tougher

Have you ever had a coach who makes you run laps when he’s mad at you?

“You stink!

Go run a lap!”

These girls laugh at that coach. They love to run. They do it for fun, and for fitness. They run with their friends. They run for glory. They run to clear their minds. They run to get strong. They drive around with bumper stickers like this one.  If you can’t read it it says, “My sport is your sport’s punishment.”

My Sport is Your Sport's Punishment

My question is:

HOW did doing something so good for you become a punishment?

Kids LOVE to run! How many times have you heard a parent calling to a young child…”don’t run!”? Some time between childhood and adulthood, exercise becomes work – a workout – something you have to do. Instead of something you want to do.

As a coach of young people I get them at that transitional age. Between childhood and adulthood. Before exercise is work. Some love to run. Some, not so much. So I roll the running and fitness into the games we play. They don’t even know they are “exercising.” They’re just having fun.

We play dynaband tag on the soccer field or the basketball court. They play soccer with a ball bigger than they are. They hop and skip and shove each other. They laugh, and shout and …get fitter.

Then they come running to me, totally out of breath. “Hey coach, can we play that again?!” ”Sure. But I’m sitting this one out. Your old coach is exhausted!”

The Parent-Coach Conversation

A coach once told our team parents: “As a parent, it’s your job to see the very best in your child. It’s my job to see them as they are and to help them be better.”  He was right. None of us is objective about our own child. But a good coach can be. I interviewed a number of experienced coaches, both volunteer and professional, boys’ and girls’, from several sports. I asked them why they kept coaching. Professional soccer coach Mike Calabretta said it well. “A coach is the only person who can be your toughest critic and your biggest fan simultaneously.”  Coaches can play a key role in kids’ development. That is a great gift.  (read complete article)

Unfortunately, some of the parent to coach conversations do sound something like the Youtube video posted on Where Did Soccer Mom Go Wrong? The caption for this video on the Chantilly Youth association soccer page reads:

This little skit is so real to many of our youth coaches it’s scary!  Please watch the entire clip and then make a commitment to NOT be that parent this season!  All CYA Youth Soccer Coaches say THANK YOU!

Having coached youth soccer for many years, I will admit that this hapless “soccer Mom” sounds like many I have heard. But as a woman who coaches and parents soccer players, I found myself offended by the stereotyping and disappointed in the approach. If we want to help the parents who are “offering too much help” from the sidelines, painting them in non-complementary ways is not the way to go about it.  A parent will not look at that clip, recognize herself and say, “My goodness, how offensive I sound. I better sit down and shut up and leave it to the professionals.”

As coaches, we need to recognize the investment parents have in their children and the depth of emotion this taps. They want to be involved, so we need to invite them:

• To learn the game.
• To act as assistant coaches.
• To participate in scrimmages so they see just how hard it is to play the game well.

And we need to insist they let the game belong to the children.

As parents, we need to believe the coach is doing his best and give full credit, especially if he is volunteering his time. To parent responsibly we need:

• To learn the game and how it is played.
• To offer the coach our support and our time.
• To inquire about his approach and coaching philosophy rather than making demands.

Here’s an informative video from Youthsportspsychology.com addressing some of the “usual” parent issues in an understanding way:

As parents and coaches we are on the same team. We both want the best for the kids but we look at it from slightly different points of view. This is good. It’s what gives us a 3 dimensional perspective. It takes it from the drawing board to the field – where the game is meant to be played. By the kids.

Soccer Mom has generated quite a lot of interest and not all of it positive. I found this out when I googled her. No longer just a Mom driving kids to their sports activities, Soccer Mom now seems to be:

• A crazy driver nearly causing accidents speeding to and from after school sports activities in her SUV.
• A wildly vocal women shouting instructions from the sidelines of youth sporting events.
• An over-bearing parent giving the coach an earful after the game.

Somehow, investing herself full time in her kids has been an expensive proposition for Soccer Mom. The demands, the pace, the scheduling: she can manage all these. More difficult is balancing her desire to see her child succeed with her need to advocate for him so he does. It’s natural, really. A mother’s instinct is to protect her child and give him the skills to compete in the world. What seems to have gone wrong is her compulsion to do it for him. To insure that every opportunity falls to him. To take responsibility for his success.

Soccer Mom’s Super Mom instincts are showing.

She may not know it, but she is embarrassing herself and her child, preventing the child from navigating for herself, and may be setting an example of behavior her children will unwittingly adopt.

Check out Part 3 of the series: Redeeming Soccer Mom, the Parent Coach Conversation.

Standing by

Who is Soccer Mom?

It’s hard to believe, but the term “Soccer Mom” has only been in regular use since 1996, when she was a highly sought after “swing voter” in the election of that year.  According to Wikipedia,

“One candidate Susan B. Casey ran with the slogan ‘A Soccer Mom for City Council.’ Casey, who had a PhD and managed presidential election campaigns, used the slogan as a way of assuring voters they could trust her to be “just like them,” denoting herself as ‘every-neighbor.’”

Soccer moms received so much attention during the election that the American Dialect Society voted “soccer mom” Word of the Year for 1996. The columnist Ellen Goodman of The Boston Globe called 1996 “the Year of the Soccer Mom.”

In 1996 it described a new phenomena in family lifestyle. Soccer Mom was portrayed as the overburdened, suburban, middle income professional or stay-at-home mother who ferries her kids from soccer practice to scouts to school. With the growth in after school sports for children, todays Soccer Moms are everywhere. They are carting the neighborhood children to and from their activities in their SUVs – what else will hold six chattering kids and all their gear?- generally in the midst of “rush hour”  conducting personal and family business by cell phone along the way. For mothers with younger children, this means carting them along.  For mothers with daytime jobs, this means hurrying to switch gears. In either case, it presents a challenge. Not to be denied, Soccer Mom has risen to the challenge, sacrificially donating the time on the road to the cause of her kids’ activities.

But Soccer Mom didn’t stop there. As teams formed and clubs scheduled weekend games, then playoffs and tournaments, Soccer Mom expanded her role. Now, in addition to showing up on game day to cheer, she must bring snack, plan the team party, schedule team pictures, order team trophies, stock the first aid kit, keep the roster…well, you get the picture. She is juggling it all behind the scenes so the kids can have fun and get some exercise.

Soccer Mom has taken on a life of her own.

Where did soccer Mom come from?

I believe Soccer Mom is the new Super Mom. You remember Super Mom. She had a full time job, kept house, volunteered in her children’s schools, participated in community activities, and was fully present for husband and children whenever they were in need. Perhaps she leapt tall buildings in a single bound in her spare time. After a while, with no cape or super powers, this heroic lifestyle takes its toll. Super Mom had a decision to make: keep everything afloat and watch herself self-destruct or sacrifice something to continue her quality performance with the rest. Out of self-preservation, Super Mom gave up the paying  job (or moved to part time) and re-invented herself as Soccer Mom.

She may have traded heels for sneakers, but she’s still Super Mom. She has thrown herself full force into her children’s activities with the gusto she used to reserve for the office. She has taken her job performance to the sidelines, along with her social life, professional parenting and sometimes, office politics. Usually, soccer Mom doesn’t get much glory. Perhaps a bouquet and a thanks at the team banquet.

That’s a big paycut.

 I wasn’t ready for the sidelines when I first made that transition. Happily, a veteran coach asked me to be his assistant. I took to the field instead of the sidelines. But I understood the parents’ wanting to be part of the team, so I made sure all them were given the chance to participate. The Moms and Dads on my teams were incredibly gracious. The kids vs parents soccer game was always the highlight of the season.

Unfortunately, other coaches did not have the same experience with their parents. Especially as the kids got older, the competition stiffer and the parents more bold, a new breed of “soccer Mom” emerged. And this, let me say, came in both male and female varieties. It wasn’t so gracious. It could be loud and confrontational. Or deceptively quiet but deadly. Cheering and snack time were giving way to hollering and criticism. I saw it all.

I was a Mom, drove an SUV, and my kids played soccer. So, was I a soccer Mom? I didn’t like how Soccer Mom lore was evolving, so, from the beginning I steered clear of the label. Today, I’m glad I did, because people don’t like her very much. What went wrong?

Part 2: Where Did Soccer Mom Go Wrong?

Part 3: Redeeming Soccer Mom

Marion has played championship golf since her teenaged days.  She’s played with and against the best. She still competes in District Golf matches and still shoots in the 90′s, though she now declines travel to clubs that would require Beltway driving – which, of course, she is still doing for herself. I don’t blame her!

But Marion holds an even deeper place in my heart. When I was a championship junior golfer at our home course, Manor Country Club in Rockville, MD, she was the women’s club champion – many years running. She was always full of encouragement for me. One day we played 9 holes and she noticed I hadn’t counted an extra shot I left in the sand trap. That isn’t the way golf is played and she told me so. (see story in Sept/Oct 2011 issue of Devozine magazine )

That started me thinking about the pressure I felt to win. It had shoved aside my desire to compete and be the best golfer I could be. From then on, all strokes went on the scorecard, whether or not anyone else saw them.

That moment, perhaps more than any other, set a trajectory for me in golf, sports and life. I went on to be a collegiate golfer and to choose a career in sports and fitness where I can mentor young women just as Marion mentored me.

Congratulations, Marion. And many, many thanks.